A letter to my bike thief

Dear Bike Thief,

I have no idea what your motivations were.  Well, that's not entirely true, I have my own speculations fueled by anger and frustration that, I'll be honest, don't really give you the benefit of the doubt.  Although, seeing as I'm the wronged party here, I'll go ahead and enjoy myself with the speculation.

I'm writing you because I think what bothers me the most about this situation is that to you, the thief, the thing you took is just a bike; an object, a means of transportation, and/or some quick cash.  To me it was much more and this fact is something that I don't believe you'll ever fully understand.

Let me give you some background.

First, the practical stuff.  The bike was originally purchased at a Sportcheck for $400 and it was a birthday present from my parents who wanted to support my efforts to incorporate the development of some healthy habits.  Recently, after storing the bike for the winter, I dropped $350, or so, on it to get it back into working order: new brake & gear cables, new rear wheel, new chain, and a full tuneup.

Now, for the more personal stuff.  When I was growing up I was never particularly athletic but there was one class in Jr. High gym that I actually kind of enjoyed as was fairly decent at: The Mountain Biking Unit.  Our gym teacher would take us around the city's bike trails during gym class and I seemed to always find myself near the front, enjoying the experience, and always wanting to go faster.  That is, until, the cool kids noticed this fact and my investment and decided to make fun of me, effectively closing off any further development of this budding interest in mountain biking.

Fast forward until about three years ago when I found myself moving to the neighborhood of Crescent Heights and realizing that this particular neighborhood offered easy access to some very nice bike paths that would take me straight to work.  So, with this new information in mind, I headed to my parents place to pick up my bike (you know, the one you stole) which, had spent the first two years of it's life with me collecting dust in either my parents garage or my building's parkade.  In my defense, biking to work just wasn't a practical option for my during that time given any development that might have given me the confidence to find a way to make it work, was stunted all those years ago in Jr. High Gym Class.  Damn cool kids, why can't you just let people like things...

Anyways, I dusted off my bike and began riding it to work on a daily basis.  This, on it's own, was a nice treat; no stress from driving the morning or evening rush hour, no being crammed into an either too hot or too cold C-Train, and no 40 minute walking commute.  My biking commute to work was 15 minutes along the beautiful Bow River Pathway.  My biking commute home from work forced me to deal with the Centre Street Hill which was, as you might imagine, initially very daunting and intimidating.  However, after a few weeks of dealing with that incline I began to get used too it and it soon just became part of the ride home; which was a nice little personal accomplishment.

Then something started to happen.  I started craving more interesting trails.  The descent down the hill in the mornings became invigorating.  I began to want more.  I began to reacquaint myself with that feeling I had lost in Jr. High; that feeling of liking something and being half-decent at it.  I began to pursue more interesting trails around Calgary, incorporating longer routes to, or from, work as my daily exercise routine.  Once it became apparent that the Calgary Commuter Bike Paths would only ever be so interesting I began working out at the Eau Claire YMCA, which was an easy stop between my home and work, and looking into actual Mountain Bike Trails.  Not long after looking into this I embarked on a quick camping trip with a best friend to Tunnel Mountain with the intention to tackle some Mountain Trails.

I only ever managed that one trip after rekindling my interest in Mountain Biking but I was resolved to finally, really pursue this interest.  I began researching Mountain Biking techniques on Youtube, began familiarizing myself with the culture, and starting to get a sense of the skills I would need to develop for next season.  My workouts at the Gym became much more than a daily exercise routine, now I was thinking about what I would need to do to be able to handle the Mountain Trails more effectively.  My gym attendance has always been a hard habit for me to establish but I kept trying and this was, for the most part, because of my interest in Mountain Biking that my bike (again, the one you stole) helped reignite.

And this is what you stole.  What really bothers me about all this.

You stole a symbol of a personal interest that I didn't know I was still connected too.  You stole something that was helping me live healthier or, at least, work towards a healthier lifestyle.  You stole something that I was connecting too.  You stole something I cared about.  It was so much more than just a bike to me.

I needed you to know that.

Sincerely,
Joseph McGuire

P.S. You suck.

So much for #safestampede

So I seem to be following rather decent people on facebook as I had to find out through someone else that apparently there's a video being shared around that depicts a woman and two men apparently having sex.  Since it's surfaced many people have been gleefully sharing the video and/or slut-shaming the woman in the video relentlessly.

If you're one of those people, congratulations, you're the worst.

There's many, many different things wrong with how this situation is playing out.

First off, we have no idea whether or not consent was given for any of the people in the video and I don't seriously believe anyone in the video agreed to be filmed or for it to be shared to facebook.  So, again congratulations, if you've shared or slut-shamed the woman in the video you've shared a video of a sexual assault or shamed someone for experiencing a sexual assault.

Of course it is entirely possible that everyone in the video consented to the experience, although I still don't get the sense they would've consented to being filmed or having the video shared on facebook.  If it is, in fact, true that there was consent and you're one of those people who have shared the video or slut-shamed the woman in it, congratulations: you're still the worst.  Thinking less of a women because she engages in sex with two partners is textbook slut-shaming and says more about you than it does about her.  Putting women's sexuality on a pedestal, creating some ridiculous notions of purity/virginity, and shaming them if they deviate in any way from our expectations is one of the ways our society tells women that their bodies are not their own and their sexuality is not their own.

How come you're not targeting the men in the video?  Why are they allowed to participate in something like this freely without criticism while you direct all your shame towards the woman?  If it's because you think it's okay for men to behave in this way and not okay for women to behave in this way, well then you're sending the message to men that they are not responsible for their sexual behaviors and that they have much more leniency when it comes to their sexuality.

If you've shared this video or slut-shamed the woman you're demonstrating why we needed something like #safestampede in the first place.  Sexual harassment and/or sexual assault have been stampede staples for a long time (well technically they've been staples of our society in general but that's for another time) and part of the reason we've come to this point is deeply connected to how society holds men and women to very different standards when it comes to sex.  From "boys will be boys" when people are growing up to slut-shaming women when they're older, we've routinely sent the message to male-identified people that there is a great deal they can get away with and that even if they do step out of line they're going to not experience the same level of scrutiny.

Those men people who chose to sexually harass or assault others during stampede that we have in mind when we tweet #safestampede are men people who have likely grown up with certain sexist views normalized and they've likely not been challenged on those views when they've expressed them.  Sexual harassment occurs because men people believe that women are dressing for them and, because of this, they feel they have a right to then comment on her body and dress.  Slut-shaming this woman validates the idea that women's bodies and sexuality are up for public scrutiny while their own bodies and sexuality are not.  We needed #safestampede because we didn't hold men accountable for their behavior and we needed #safestampede because of how women's bodies and sexuality are policed.

But now? After having engaged in some communal slut-shaming? Well, it'll be hard to take that hashtag seriously...yay us!