(Edit: Wrote this several days ago)
Alright, I just have to get my bit in as this story is breaking and I’m already starting to see a bunch of victim blaming narratives develop, especially in the comment section of Jian Ghomeshi’s facebook post. While we don’t yet have all the information I would implore people to consider any survivors that might be involved in this particular story. Considering our current culture of putting survivors of sexual violence on trial, I would remind everyone that there is nothing to gain by disclosing instances of abuse apart from those in question beginning their own healing journeys.
I take issue with the story presented to us mainly because of the language used in said post because it raises several red flags for me. Narratives around “jilted ex-girlfriends” have been used, too often, as a justification and/or an excuse for abuse (something we see a lot with revenge porn and sharing of explicit photos) and as justification and/or an excuse for dismissal of claims. The narrative of “a campaign of vengeance” has also been used to dismiss legitimate feelings of survivors when it comes to having been violated. And finally, bringing in a novel such as “Fifty Shades of Grey” to defend one’s behavior is a very troubling decision as the book has been heavily criticized for it’s portrayal of the BDSM community and it’s contribution to the normalization and eroticization of sexual violence.
For those in the BDSM community, consent and communication regarding sex acts is paramount. Straying from agreed upon acts between consenting parties is a violation of the rules of consent. Continuing agreed upon sex acts when consent has been revoked is a violation of the rules of consent. Consent can be revoked and consent must be ongoing to be valid. The notion of “we agreed to do this” is not a defense when the other party revokes consent, for whatever reason.
Too often, society turns on the survivors, faster than normal, when there is a person of fame involved as it is less likely that people will believe they are capable of such a crime. The myth of the easily identifiable offender is too prevalent in society and it acts as a barrier to survivors recognizing that their own experience as sexual violence if their offender did not fit the socially accepted description of an offender. The greater the fame, the less likely it is that people will believe the survivor.
We lose nothing by supporting survivors in cases like this.
Alright, I just have to get my bit in as this story is breaking and I’m already starting to see a bunch of victim blaming narratives develop, especially in the comment section of Jian Ghomeshi’s facebook post. While we don’t yet have all the information I would implore people to consider any survivors that might be involved in this particular story. Considering our current culture of putting survivors of sexual violence on trial, I would remind everyone that there is nothing to gain by disclosing instances of abuse apart from those in question beginning their own healing journeys.
I take issue with the story presented to us mainly because of the language used in said post because it raises several red flags for me. Narratives around “jilted ex-girlfriends” have been used, too often, as a justification and/or an excuse for abuse (something we see a lot with revenge porn and sharing of explicit photos) and as justification and/or an excuse for dismissal of claims. The narrative of “a campaign of vengeance” has also been used to dismiss legitimate feelings of survivors when it comes to having been violated. And finally, bringing in a novel such as “Fifty Shades of Grey” to defend one’s behavior is a very troubling decision as the book has been heavily criticized for it’s portrayal of the BDSM community and it’s contribution to the normalization and eroticization of sexual violence.
For those in the BDSM community, consent and communication regarding sex acts is paramount. Straying from agreed upon acts between consenting parties is a violation of the rules of consent. Continuing agreed upon sex acts when consent has been revoked is a violation of the rules of consent. Consent can be revoked and consent must be ongoing to be valid. The notion of “we agreed to do this” is not a defense when the other party revokes consent, for whatever reason.
Too often, society turns on the survivors, faster than normal, when there is a person of fame involved as it is less likely that people will believe they are capable of such a crime. The myth of the easily identifiable offender is too prevalent in society and it acts as a barrier to survivors recognizing that their own experience as sexual violence if their offender did not fit the socially accepted description of an offender. The greater the fame, the less likely it is that people will believe the survivor.
We lose nothing by supporting survivors in cases like this.
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